Hate, Loathing And A Rant At Breakfast

I sit here with a box of total blueberry pomegranate cereal by my side as I write this, contemplating the past few weeks while loading my e-mail that I have neglected for three days.

Damn hipsters. They're fucking everywhere. Why do I hate them so much? I don't hate anyone else.
Their fashion, ideals and cultural identity spring out of my generation. Yet I just don't get it.
Why should I drink? What's the point? Why get fucked up when I have work to do?
Why should I wear really tight jeans? I'm chubby. Tight jeans and chubby don't mix.
I just don't understand hipsters at all, even though I complain and make fun of them all the time. Is this another fad or a new social construct?

And what the fuck is up with the absolutely shitty music they listen to? Seriously – clothes and identity is one thing; copied, mediocre, lame-ass songs stripped of all relevance is another.

I can't do this. Being a 45-year-old male in an early 20-something body is insane. There seems to be little intelligence left in the world, as morons procreate and proliferate the globe.
Ranting is killing me. Maybe if we started thinking just a little bit....

How else can one explain the following:

• Missionaries failing to comply with a countries' law when they're actually inside it
• Top military brass advocating for the abolition of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell”, then having GOP senators decide that they're wrong
• Reality TV
• The fact that millions upon millions of actual people decided that global warming was false simply because we experienced winter & winter-like conditions this year
• The Snuggie and the people who buy it
• Tea-Baggers
• People becoming famous simply by being horrid humans to others – and taking pride in that fact.

Dear hipsters- Thank you for showing who you really are, culture-less, racist white kids who think they are something special. Your small segment of the population is where originality and creativity goes to die.